Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
