Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
