so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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