I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize