So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
