dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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