it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize