is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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