imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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