I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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