who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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