can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
