My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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