He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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