i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i came on her dog
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
