im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize