I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Help. Why am I so naked?
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