if you like me you must not know who I am
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
