I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
