so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
