Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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