my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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