the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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