my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize