i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
