Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize