I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who died my cat blue again?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
