This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
