When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
