Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
