I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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