im drinking this country out of the recession.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
