omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
