remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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