the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
