I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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