He kissed a someone with a penis
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
