I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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