as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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