Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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