When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
