Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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