Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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