Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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