my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
