Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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