I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
