Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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