so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
