youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
