I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i came on her dog
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
