People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
