there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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