Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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