Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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