We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
