My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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