Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
