belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
