If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize