And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
