sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
