I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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